It’s a tale as old as time – or at least as old as sibling squabbles and playground spats.

We’ve heard of the child with chocolate-stained fingers blame their sibling for the missing cake, but it’s another thing entirely to see a politician pull the same trick – straight-faced, while wielding the powerful office of the United States Senate.

When Senator Lisa Murkowski, the woman who famously inherited her Senate seat from her father, dismisses Trump’s latest AG choice – Matt Gaetz – as “not a serious nomination,” it’s a masterclass in irony, so rich that it should come with a health warning.

In politics, this moves up a notch (or 20) as the well-loved ad hominem attack, where logic steps aside to let character assassination shine. Of all people to bear the brunt of this strategy, none have been more consistently targeted than Donald J. Trump. In modern politics, no figure has survived such relentless, outsized character attacks. But here we are, watching Alaska’s political elite wield irony with all the finesse of a child swinging a baseball bat in the living room – everyone ducks, yet the windows still shatter.

Let’s break down Murkowski’s “serious” criteria, shall we? She commented, “We need to have a serious attorney general … This one was not on my bingo card.” That’s a tall order from someone whose own ticket to Capitol Hill was practically printed by her dad’s office printer.

In 2002, then-Governor Frank Murkowski handpicked Lisa for the Senate, memorializing nepotism as the equivalent of a “serious nomination.” One can only imagine the “serious” qualifications needed: a decent family photo, good table manners, a fussy, needy and shallow persona, and the ability to dial Dad’s number in Juneau.

Let’s rewind to the beginning. Murkowski’s law career didn’t quite start with a bang; she passed the bar on her fifth attempt. This number of attempts suggests persistence, perhaps, but hardly screams “future U.S. Senator.”

From there, she worked quietly in Anchorage before suddenly finding herself vaulted into national office thanks to a convenient appointment by her father. In other words, Murkowski’s political career began with a handout wrapped in a Senate seat.

Matt Gaetz, on the other hand, completed William & Mary Law School in 2007 with a Juris Doctor. Immediately after which he was admitted to the Florida Bar on February 6, 2008. He then went to work for a law firm immediately following law school.

He was suspended from the Florida bar in 2021 due to unpaid fees, but after paying $265 was reinstated.
Lisa Murkowski completed Willamette University College of Law in 1985 with a Juris Doctor. She subsequently failed the bar four times in a row, finally passing on her fifth attempt. She then went to work as an attorney in the Anchorage District Court Clerk’s office from 1987 to 1989. From 1989 to 1998, she was an attorney in private practice in Anchorage.

The humor here practically writes itself: the senator, whose career kicked off with a “serious” bit of nepotism, now questions Gaetz’s credibility as a nominee?

In February 2010, Gaetz ran in a special Republican primary election for state house in the 4th District. It was a crowded field with four other Republicans. Gaetz won with 43% of the vote and went on to defeat the Democrat with 66% of the vote.

In 2016, Gaetz went on to run and win in Florida’s 1st congressional district Republican primary against a multi-candidate field. He then won the general election against a Democrat with 69% of the vote.
In 1998, Lisa Murkowski was elected to the Alaska House of Representatives for District 18, which included northeast Anchorage, Fort Richardson and Elmendorf Air Force Base (now Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson, or JBER), and suburban parts of Eagle River-Chugiak. She was re-elected in 2000. After reapportionment, she was again re-elected and was named State House Majority Leader in the 2003-2004 legislative session.

She resigned her House seat before taking state office, due to her appointment by her father to the seat he had vacated in the U.S. Senate, upon his stepping down to assume the Alaska governorship.

Matt Gaetz, on the other hand, climbed a much different and onerous ladder. He passed the bar on his first try, won a Florida House seat in a competitive special election, and later moved up to Congress after prevailing over multiple opponents. His track record shows a genuine climb, not the gift-wrapped inheritance Murkowski enjoyed.

The humor here practically writes itself: the senator, whose career kicked off with a “serious” bit of nepotism, now questions Gaetz’s credibility as a nominee?

Perhaps it’s best to take Murkowski’s words with a grain of irony the size of Denali. After all, in Alaska’s high-stakes political bingo, it seems you don’t need qualifications, just a well-connected father and a quip about “seriousness.”

The senator’s remark boils down to: “Qualifications? Meh. Family connections? Essential!” And when Murkowski, who occupies one of the most nepotism-infused seats in modern politics, suddenly champions seriousness in public office, it’s as if Alaska’s state motto quietly changed to “Do as I say, not as I do.”

In the end, maybe Lisa Murkowski should host a bingo night with serious qualifications on the cards: “Pass the bar (eventually),” “Have dad’s phone number,” and “Win by appointment, not by election.” In her Alaska bingo, everyone’s a winner as long as they have the right connections.

The views expressed here are those of the author.

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